Three Dollar Quill

I ended up feeling really bad today, and I couldn't tell what was going on. I was guessing all kinds of environmental factors. Maybe the air was too dry. Maybe it was some dust that I wasn't used to.

But eventually, I think I figured it out. I was pissed off. I was pissed off at the state of pandemic response. That brand new variants are raging all around me, and by and large the measures being taken are woefully inadequate. Basic precautions are advised, then ignored. Massive in-person gatherings.

I am, of course, pissed off at myself for not behaving more sensibly myself, but systemic problems require systemic action. I can keep myself a little safer by having more common* sense in the future, and not behaving recklessly, but the important thing is what happens to everyone.

Maybe I'll get covid, maybe I won't (yet), but the real fucking tragedy of all of this is what the continued pandemic means for people without a support net like I have, and just in general the fucked up way this has gone on for so long, some of the ghoulish things I'm hearing about being done by people with the power to make a difference.

How is anyone supposed to feel when they realize that they, and everyone around them, basically constitute acceptable losses in the minds of the people in charge?

...

The test came back negative, for what it's worth. My run of luck apparently remains unbroken. Good for me. For now.

We shouldn't be forced to rely on luck like this. It's just not right. My heart goes out to the hundreds of millions (hundreds of millions! preposterous!) that we know didn't dodge the bullet, and the families of the millions who didn't make it through.

For the moment, I'll be taking care of myself, because I'm really not prepared to take care of anyone else. And when I'm feeling better, I've got to make some noise.

(PS I rejiggered my upload script a few times to deal with payload sizes and server-side changes so hopefully this actually uploads properly byyyyee.)

Good night.