Haha, I'm nowhere close to done implementing this stuff. It turns out I just straight-up forgot about the wheel tag checks, so it's an extremely good thing I wrote all these tests to fail when it installs incompatible wheels.
A bunch of my other tests were pretty half-baked, so I'm finishing them up. Better now than never.
Anyway, I'm feeling kind of tired already, so I'm going to call this here and go over the compatibility checks, figure out how best to add them.