I'd kind of been assuming that I'd have something more substantial to write about today, but one of the things I decided to do was to make an actual dent in my email, and I discovered that there was a data breach.
Some script kiddie with typical delusions of grandeur found a password dump, and decided to try to intimidate me with the specter of videos that I could have been given any reason whatsoever to believe exist, but wasn't. I'm working my way through my old terrible passwords right now, because "your passwords are leaked, yo" was the only credible part of the message.
I'm sad to say that, going by publicly available information, the script kiddie has made $7200 off of this scam so far.
In any case, reading the email (which, as near as I can tell, doesn't have a tracking image in it, but that's an amateur non-expert opinion) allegedly triggered a 48-hour countdown, so I'll let y'all know in two days if "[my] intimate one" gets sent any videos; I'm honestly looking at this thinking, like, bring it on.
Fortunately, more people reported this scam than paid up, at least with that particular wallet.